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William and Kate share previously unseen wedding photo

<p>Prince William and Kate celebrated their 13th wedding anniversary on Monday by sharing a previously unseen photo from their big day. </p> <p>"13 years ago today!" they captioned the black and white portrait shared across their social media accounts.</p> <p>The royal bride wore a lace gown designed by Sarah Burton for Alexander McQueen, while the Prince donned his military uniform. </p> <p>This wedding anniversary marks their first since Princess Kate's cancer diagnosis in late March. </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/C6WDpq3NZmI/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/C6WDpq3NZmI/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by The Prince and Princess of Wales (@princeandprincessofwales)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Last year the couple released a more casual image, showing the couple on their bikes in Norfolk. The year before that they didn't post anything, and in 2021 they released specially commissioned photos taken at Kensington Palace, to mark their 10th wedding anniversary.</p> <p>The royal couple also released a video back then, featuring all three of their children - Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis.</p> <p>The photo was taken by portrait photographer Millie Pilkington, who has taken a few other royal portraits - including Prince George's 10th birthday image last year and a Father's Day image of Prince William and his kids shared last June. </p> <p>Pilkington also took the image of King Charles and Queen Camilla, released by Buckingham Palace last week ahead of the first anniversary of their coronation next month. </p> <p><em>Image: Instagram</em></p> <p> </p>

Relationships

Would you be happy as a long-term single? The answer may depend on your attachment style

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/christopher-pepping-1524533">Christopher Pepping</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/griffith-university-828">Griffith University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/geoff-macdonald-1527971">Geoff Macdonald</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-toronto-1281">University of Toronto</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/tim-cronin-415060">Tim Cronin</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/la-trobe-university-842">La Trobe University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/yuthika-girme-1494822">Yuthika Girme</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/simon-fraser-university-1282">Simon Fraser University</a></em></p> <p>Are all single people insecure? When we think about people who have been single for a long time, we may assume it’s because single people have insecurities that make it difficult for them to find a partner or maintain a relationship.</p> <p>But is this true? Or can long-term single people also be secure and thriving?</p> <p>Our <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/jopy.12929">latest research</a> published in the Journal of Personality suggests they can. However, perhaps unsurprisingly, not everybody tends to thrive in singlehood. Our study shows a crucial factor may be a person’s attachment style.</p> <h2>Singlehood is on the rise</h2> <p>Singlehood is on the rise around the world. In Canada, single status among young adults aged 25 to 29 has increased from <a href="https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/daily-quotidien/220713/dq220713b-eng.htm">32% in 1981 to 61% in 2021</a>. The number of people <a href="https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/daily-quotidien/220713/dq220713a-eng.htm">living solo</a> has increased from 1.7 million people in 1981 to 4.4 million in 2021.</p> <p>People are single for many reasons: <a href="https://www.ucpress.edu/ebook/9780520971004/happy-singlehood">some choose</a> to remain single, some are focusing on <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12147-020-09249-0">personal goals and aspirations</a>, some report <a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/nearly-half-of-u-s-adults-say-dating-has-gotten-harder-for-most-people-in-the-last-10-years/">dating has become harder</a>, and some become single again due to a relationship breakdown.</p> <p>People may also remain single due to their attachment style. Attachment theory is a popular and well-researched model of how we form relationships with other people. An <a href="https://www.amazon.com.au/s?k=attachment+theory">Amazon search for attachment theory</a> returns thousands of titles. The hashtag #attachmenttheory has been viewed <a href="https://www.cnbc.com/2022/08/20/why-attachment-theory-is-trending-according-to-dr-amir-levine.html">over 140 million times</a> on TikTok alone.</p> <h2>What does attachment theory say about relationships?</h2> <p>Attachment theory suggests our relationships with others are shaped by our degree of “anxiety” and “avoidance”.</p> <p>Attachment anxiety is a type of insecurity that leads people to feel anxious about relationships and worry about abandonment. Attachment avoidance leads people to feel uncomfortable with intimacy and closeness.</p> <p>People who are lower in attachment anxiety and avoidance are considered “securely attached”, and are comfortable depending on others, and giving and receiving intimacy.</p> <p>Single people are often stereotyped as being <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/01461672231203123">too clingy or non-committal</a>. Research comparing single and coupled people also suggests single people have <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1467-6494.2012.00793.x?casa_token=6iiCm5PjHgkAAAAA:0kBeofx3M-72YrkVppmNxdWBIAImFwm3lAakCnuiNXL20SVP1zaW7UeDIahW_43imAjSRXgtyN0hLVI">higher levels of attachment insecurities</a> compared to people in relationships.</p> <p>At the same time, evidence suggests many single people are choosing to remain single and <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/17456916221136119">living happy lives</a>.</p> <h2>Single people represent a diverse group of secure and insecure people</h2> <p>In our latest research, our team of social and clinical psychologists examined single people’s attachment styles and how they related to their happiness and wellbeing.</p> <p>We carried out two studies, one of 482 younger single people and the other of 400 older long-term singles. We found overall 78% were categorised as insecure, with the other 22% being secure.</p> <p>Looking at our results more closely, we found four distinct subgroups of singles:</p> <ul> <li> <p>secure singles are relatively comfortable with intimacy and closeness in relationships (22%)</p> </li> <li> <p>anxious singles question whether they are loved by others and worry about being rejected (37%)</p> </li> <li> <p>avoidant singles are uncomfortable getting close to others and prioritise their independence (23% of younger singles and 11% of older long-term singles)</p> </li> <li> <p>fearful singles have heightened anxiety about abandonment, but are simultaneously uncomfortable with intimacy and closeness (16% of younger singles and 28% of older long-term singles).</p> </li> </ul> <h2>Insecure singles find singlehood challenging, but secure singles are thriving</h2> <p>Our findings also revealed these distinct subgroups of singles have distinct experiences and outcomes.</p> <p>Secure singles are happy being single, have a greater number of non-romantic relationships, and better relationships with family and friends. They meet their sexual needs outside romantic relationships and feel happier with their life overall. Interestingly, this group maintains moderate interest in being in a romantic relationship in the future.</p> <p>Anxious singles tend to be the most worried about being single, have lower self-esteem, feel less supported by close others and have some of the lowest levels of life satisfaction across all sub-groups.</p> <p>Avoidant singles show the least interest in being in a romantic relationship and in many ways appear satisfied with singlehood. However, they also have fewer friends and close relationships, and are generally less satisfied with these relationships than secure singles. Avoidant singles also report less meaning in life and tend to be less happy compared to secure singles.</p> <p>Fearful singles reported more difficulties navigating close relationships than secure singles. For instance, they were less able to regulate their emotions, and were less satisfied with the quality of their close relationships relative to secure singles. They also reported some of the lowest levels of life satisfaction across all sub-groups.</p> <h2>It’s not all doom and gloom</h2> <p>These findings should be considered alongside several relevant points. First, although most singles in our samples were insecure (78%), a sizeable number were secure and thriving (22%).</p> <p>Further, simply being in a romantic relationship is not a panacea. Being in an unhappy relationship is linked to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316">poorer life outcomes</a> than being single.</p> <p>It is also important to remember that attachment orientations are not necessarily fixed. They are open to <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2352250X18300113">change</a> in response to life events.</p> <p>Similarly, <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0963721413510933">sensitive and responsive behaviours</a> from close others and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/02654075231162390">feeling loved and cared about</a> by close others can soothe underlying attachment concerns and foster attachment security over time.</p> <p>Our studies are some of the first to examine the diversity in attachment styles among single adults. Our findings highlight that many single people are secure and thriving, but also that more work can be done to help insecure single people feel more secure in order to foster happiness.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/227595/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/christopher-pepping-1524533">Christopher Pepping</a>, Associate Professor in Clinical Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/griffith-university-828">Griffith University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/geoff-macdonald-1527971">Geoff Macdonald</a>, Professor of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-toronto-1281">University of Toronto</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/tim-cronin-415060">Tim Cronin</a>, Lecturer in Clinical Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/la-trobe-university-842">La Trobe University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/yuthika-girme-1494822">Yuthika Girme</a>, Associate Professor, Department of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/simon-fraser-university-1282">Simon Fraser University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/would-you-be-happy-as-a-long-term-single-the-answer-may-depend-on-your-attachment-style-227595">original article</a>.</em></p>

Relationships

Love is in the air! Pilot proposes to flight attendant girlfriend before take off

<p>A pilot has proposed to his flight attendant girlfriend just minutes before take off in a heart-warming display of love. </p> <p>Polish pilot Konrad Hanc was captured emerging from the cockpit before embarking on a flight to Kraków to make a surprising announcement over the PA system. </p> <p>Hanc introduced himself to the passengers before explaining the real reason for his message. </p> <p>“On today’s flight there is a very special person," he began.</p> <p>“Ladies and gentlemen, about one and a half years ago in this job I met the most wonderful person that completely changed my life."</p> <p>“You are most precious to me. You are my greatest dream come true. This is why I have to ask you a favour, honey."</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6EHHyQskLc/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6EHHyQskLc/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by LOT Polish Airlines (@flylot)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>“Will you marry me?” he asked while getting down on one knee, as another flight attendant handed him a bouquet of flowers. </p> <p>His girlfriend, Paula, sprinted up the aisle of the plane before leaping into the arms of her future husband. </p> <p>Passengers watched on in anticipation for her answer with one yelling, “Did she say yes?” to which the beaming captain responded: “She said yes!”</p> <p>Hanc explained that he chose to pop the question on the flight to the Polish city as he met Paula on the same flight just 18 months ago. </p> <p>As the pair embraced in a hug and kiss, passengers erupted in applause, with many taking to the now viral Facebook post to send them well wishes. </p> <p>“I love this! Sweet couple!” one person wrote.</p> <p>”TOTALLYYYYY LOVE IN THE AIR,” another enthusiastic person commented, to which the airline responded: “YES, love IS in the air!”</p> <p><em>Image credits: LOT Polish Airlines</em></p>

Relationships

Keeping intimacy alive after menopause

<p>When sex is no longer enjoyable due to the changes brought on by menopause, many women sadly give up, wrongly believing there is no solution. This can result in loneliness within a relationship even leading to separation or divorce.</p> <p>But there is help available and it comes down to addressing genitourinary syndrome of menopause (GSM), a syndrome no one talks about despite the fact it affects all post-menopausal women and unlike hot flushes, doesn’t go away.</p> <p>GSM covers a range of menopausal symptoms including incontinence, burning, stinging or itching of the vagina, delayed or impaired orgasm and reduced libido. The good news is, there is help available, even for women who are unable to use hormone therapy and it’s never too late to seek help and take action.</p> <p><strong>Treat the pain</strong></p> <p>Pain and discomfort during intimacy is often the result of vaginal dryness. This can be addressed in many ways including the use of lubricants or vaginal moisturisers but it’s worth talking to your GP about a longer term solution. For many women, menopause hormone therapy (MHT) will help.</p> <p>An alternative to MHT is radiofrequency treatment with <a title="https://www.inmode.com.au/pages/empower-rf" href="https://www.inmode.com.au/pages/empower-rf" data-outlook-id="5a8b7279-e5dc-4ab9-9f3d-b788bb0310ee">EmpowerRF</a> to rejuvenate the tissue and increase collagen and elastin.</p> <p><strong>Take it slowly</strong></p> <p>Often women want to rekindle intimacy with their partner but are not sure how to go about it and fear often inhibits them initiating any intimacy at all.</p> <p>A staged return to intimacy can help.</p> <p>This is achieved by an agreement to limit the intimacy to non-sexual cuddles, no matter the level of desire, for an agreed period of time such as two weeks.</p> <p>It’s a great way to reignite that spark in a comfortable way, before taking things to the next level when both partners are ready.</p> <p><strong>Try new positions</strong></p> <p>Laying side by side can give the woman greater control over the rate of entry and the depth of penetration. </p> <p>If there is pain, stop at that point and breath and only increase penetration once the tissues have relaxed.</p> <p>If pain is still preventing penetration, it is important to seek professional help to find a solution. </p> <p>An examination will determine whether there is any other reason for the pain. A doctor can discuss options including estrogen cream, radiofrequency treatment and even Botox to help relax the muscles.</p> <p><strong> Address incontinence </strong></p> <p>One in two post-menopausal women experience incontinence, which can be a large barrier to sexual intimacy. </p> <p>I have helped many women overcome their struggles with incontinence, using electrical muscle stimulation treatment (V Tone) and radiofrequency technology (Forma V and Morpheus8V) to rejuvenate the tissues and strengthen the pelvic floor muscles. It can be life changing.</p> <p><strong><em>Dr Judy Craig is a Perth-based GP and cosmetic physician. She has practiced medicine for over 40 years.</em></strong></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p>

Relationships

“Love is so sweet": Man's sweet mid-air proposal goes viral

<p>Love is in the air! </p> <p>A smitten passenger took his love to the skies and proposed to his girlfriend while on board an Air Peace flight, with the romantic moment captured on camera. </p> <p>A social media user took to TikTok to share the sweet proposal, with the caption: “POV: My friend was proposed to in a plane.”</p> <p>The minute-long video showed a man getting out of his seat on board the packed plane to use the aircraft’s PA system so that he could ask for his girlfriend’s hand in marriage.</p> <p>“She’s so precious and her name is Precious,” the man said before popping the question. </p> <p> “Please, my Precious, I want to ask, will you marry me?”</p> <p>“If you will, just come out and say ‘yes’ to me, my precious,” he added before walking down the aisle of the aircraft. </p> <p>Other passengers cheered for the couple, and in a second video, the man is seen greeting Precious, then getting down on one knee to offer her the ring.</p> <p>Precious was overjoyed at the proposal and said yes, hugging her new fiance. </p> <p>While it is unclear where the plane was travelling, Air Peace is a Nigerian carrier that operates flights to destinations in West Africa and the Middle East, according to the NY Post. </p> <p>TikTok users were also touched by the romantic act, with many of them congratulating the couple. </p> <p>“This is beautiful,” one wrote. </p> <p>“Love is so sweet for real,” another swooned. </p> <p><em>Images: TikTok</em></p>

Relationships

Is attachment theory actually important for romantic relationships?

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/marissa-nivison-1454992">Marissa Nivison</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-calgary-1318">University of Calgary</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/sheri-madigan-417151">Sheri Madigan</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-calgary-1318">University of Calgary</a></em></p> <p>There has been a recent surge of attention toward attachment theory: from <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTL2aW9va/">TikTok videos</a> to <a href="https://quiz.attachmentproject.com/">online quizzes</a> that claim to “assess your attachment style.” It’s become a hot topic, especially in the context of romantic relationships, with <a href="https://medium.com/curious/the-theory-that-explains-all-your-failed-relationships-fb2dc2551617">some articles</a> claiming that one person (or partner’s) attachment styles are the reason why relationships fail.</p> <p>As experts in developmental and clinical psychology focusing on attachment theory, we seek to provide an accessible resource to better understand the science of attachment, and what it means for one’s romantic relationships.</p> <h2>What is attachment?</h2> <p>Attachment theory stems from the field of developmental psychology. It is the notion that in the first year of life, the ways in which a parent and caregiver respond to a child’s needs shape a child’s expectation of relationships across their lifespan.</p> <p>In research, attachment has been associated with well-being across the lifespan including: <a href="https://doi.org/10.1017/S0954579499002035">mental</a> and <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14616734.2018.1541517">physical</a> health, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/a0032671">brain functioning</a> and even <a href="https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/document?repid=rep1&type=pdf&doi=092354a82953ac321429f84b00607bcd44ac4c63">romantic relationships</a>.</p> <figure class="align-center "><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=455&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=455&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=455&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=572&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=572&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=572&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" alt="Illustrations of four different attachment styes" /><figcaption><span class="caption">There are two overarching types of attachment: secure and insecure. Types of insecure attachment include disorganized, avoidant and anxious attachment.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span></figcaption></figure> <h2>How is attachment related to romantic relationships?</h2> <p>Among professionals in the field, there is diversity in perspectives regarding how attachment relates with romantic relationships. As developmental psychologists, we tend to think that attachment is associated with romantic relationships through what we call the “<a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/14616739900134191">internal working model</a>.”</p> <p>In childhood, when a parent is consistent and responsive in tending to their child, the child learns that their parent can be counted on in times of need. These expectations and beliefs about relationships are then internalized as a blueprint, sometimes in popular media referred to as a “<a href="https://medium.com/live-your-life-on-purpose/love-maps-are-a-gamechanger-when-you-have-an-anxious-attachment-style-dc8f219ab0af">love map</a>.” Just like how an architect uses a blueprint to design a building, a child’s attachment to their parents provides a blueprint for understanding how to approach other relationships.</p> <p>Based on this blueprint, people develop expectations of how relationships should work, and how other important people in their life, including partners, should respond to their needs.</p> <p>Sometimes attachment is also described in terms of attachment “styles.” There are two overarching types of attachment: <a href="https://doi.org/10.4324/9780203758045">secure and insecure</a>. Those with a secure attachment style tend to have expectations that their attachment figures (and later, partners) will be responsive, sensitive and caring in times of distress. People with secure “blueprints” find it easier to build new structures (i.e., relationships) with the same design.</p> <p>People with insecure blueprints — such as disorganized, avoidant or anxious attachment styles — may face relationship challenges when their current relationship doesn’t align with their childhood experiences, and may need to renovate their blueprint design together with their partner.</p> <p>Whether you think about attachment as a style or a love map, they both are related to expectations of relationships, which are shaped by past experiences.</p> <p>In research we see that people who had consistent, reliable and sensitive parents are more likely to have more positive relationships — including <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-6811.1997.tb00135.x">friendships</a>, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/cdev.13322">teacher-child relationships</a> and yes, <a href="https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/document?repid=rep1&type=pdf&doi=092354a82953ac321429f84b00607bcd44ac4c63">romantic relationships too</a>.</p> <h2>Relationships with parents and relationships with partners</h2> <p>Although we do see in research that better childhood relationships are associated with better romantic relationships, there is still a large part of the population who have good relationships with partners, despite their history of lower-quality relationships with their parents.</p> <figure class="align-center "><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=453&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=453&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=453&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=569&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=569&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=569&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" alt="Illustration of loving parents with a child, and the grown child in a loving relationship" /><figcaption><span class="caption">In research we see that people who had consistent, reliable and sensitive parents are more likely to have more positive relationships.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span></figcaption></figure> <p>It is possible for romantic relationships to serve as a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/1089-2680.4.2.155">“healing relationship”</a> and improve one’s own internal working model of relationships. Specifically, when a partner is consistently sensitive, responsive and available, a person may begin to adjust their blueprint and develop new expectations from relationships. Attachment theory consistently supports the idea that one’s patterns of attachment <a href="https://eric.ed.gov/?id=EJ960225">can change</a>.</p> <p>So, all in all, the answer is no: Your relationship with your parents influences but does not <em>determine</em> the quality of your romantic relationships.</p> <h2>Is attachment the reason why my relationships don’t work out?</h2> <p>It is possible that your expectations of a romantic relationship may not align with the expectations of your partner, and may affect the quality of the relationship. For example, sometimes individuals with insecure attachments may withdraw when they are upset, but their partner who has a secure attachment may be upset that their partner is not coming to them for comfort.</p> <p>Thinking through your own attachment history and expectations of relationships may be a great opportunity for self-reflection, but it is important to remember that attachment is only one part of a relationship. Communication, trust and respect, to name a few, are also critically important aspects of a relationship.</p> <h2>Can I improve my attachment expectations?</h2> <p>The short answer: Yes! Improving attachment quality has been one of the cornerstones of attachment theory and research since its conception. Most commonly, attachment is targeted in <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0LCPe5CMarYi1NmqNttDcg/videos">childhood through interventions</a>, but also in adulthood through individual therapy, or various forms of couples therapy, such as <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaHms5z-yuM">Emotionally Focused Therapy</a> or the <a href="https://www.gottman.com/about/the-gottman-method/">Gottman Method</a>.</p> <p>It is also possible that through positive relationships you may be able to improve your own expectations of relationships. There are many different avenues to explore, but improvement is always possible.</p> <p>In sum, attachment can be an important factor in romantic relationships, but it is not a “catch-all” to be blamed for why relationships may not work out. Thinking about your own expectations for relationships and talking through those with your partner may do great things in improving the quality of your relationships! <img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/226101/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/marissa-nivison-1454992">Marissa Nivison</a>, Postdoctoral Research Fellow, Department of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-calgary-1318">University of Calgary</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/sheri-madigan-417151">Sheri Madigan</a>, Professor, Canada Research Chair in Determinants of Child Development, Owerko Centre at the Alberta Children’s Hospital Research Institute, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-calgary-1318">University of Calgary</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/is-attachment-theory-actually-important-for-romantic-relationships-226101">original article</a>.</em></p>

Relationships

Debate erupts over groom's unconventional footwear choice

<p>In what seems to be a picture perfect wedding, eagle-eyed social media users spotted one odd detail. </p> <p>The couple were snapped standing at the altar, and while everything else about their outfit seemed flawless, one Reddit user called the groom out for wearing black Crocs and black socks to his wedding. </p> <p>“Imagine you get ready for three hours and your groom shows up in Crocs,” the user said. </p> <p>“Crocs would be a legit reason to say no at the altar,” another wrote, before adding: <span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">“Crocs are a valid reason to not date someone. They are horrible.”</span></p> <p>“He’s wearing a suit, maybe he has a problem with his feet that he can’t wear proper footwear,” a third commented</p> <p>“Surely no one, no matter how casual in style, voluntarily leaves the house in Crocs?”</p> <p>However many other social media users were quick to defend the wedding faux pas, with some saying that they wish they had done the same thing at their own weeding. </p> <p>“He probably has an injured foot or broken toe. He’s perfectly groomed (a pun) otherwise and obviously tried to camouflage his socks and crocs with his attire," one sympathised. </p> <p>“Ya I have really severe diabetic neuropathy in my feet, especially my toes. Doctor actually suggested Crocs as they have extra space and don’t restrict movement," another added.</p> <p>“I wore flip flops under my dress. I hate heels with a passion,” a third wrote. </p> <p>"He's wearing a nice suit, matching dark socks so I'm not seeing an issue here as he probably has some kind of foot or back injury or pain. If I were marrying him this wouldn't bother me," added a fourth. </p> <p>“Let the man get married in something comfortable. My wife could have shown up in a potato sack barefoot for all I cared, she is there to marry me, not for a fashion show," a fifth defended. </p> <p><em>Image: Reddit</em></p> <p> </p>

Relationships

I want to eat healthily. So why do I crave sugar, salt and carbs?

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/hayley-oneill-1458016">Hayley O'Neill</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/bond-university-863">Bond University</a></em></p> <p>We all want to eat healthily, especially as we reset our health goals at the start of a new year. But sometimes these plans are sabotaged by powerful cravings for sweet, salty or carb-heavy foods.</p> <p>So why do you crave these foods when you’re trying to improve your diet or lose weight? And what can you do about it?</p> <p>There are many reasons for craving specific foods, but let’s focus on four common ones:</p> <h2>1. Blood sugar crashes</h2> <p>Sugar is a key energy source for all animals, and its taste is one of the most basic sensory experiences. Even without specific sweet taste receptors on the tongue, a strong preference for sugar can develop, indicating a mechanism beyond taste alone.</p> <p>Neurons <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41593-021-00982-7">responding to sugar</a> are activated when sugar is delivered to the gut. This can increase appetite and make you want to consume more. Giving into cravings also drives an appetite for more sugar.</p> <p>In the long term, research suggests a high-sugar diet can affect <a href="https://www.bmj.com/content/369/bmj.m2382">mood</a>, digestion and <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33339337/">inflammation</a> in the <a href="https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/scitranslmed.aay6218?url_ver=Z39.88-2003&rfr_id=ori:rid:crossref.org&rfr_dat=cr_pub%20%200pubmed">gut</a>.</p> <p>While there’s a lot of <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0149763402000040?via%3Dihub#aep-section-id23">variation between individuals</a>, regularly eating sugary and high-carb foods can lead to <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30951762/">rapid spikes and crashes</a> in blood sugar levels. When your blood sugar drops, your body can respond by craving quick sources of energy, often in the form of sugar and carbs because these deliver the fastest, most easily accessible form of energy.</p> <h2>2. Drops in dopamine and serotonin</h2> <p>Certain neurotransmitters, such as <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30595479/">dopamine</a>, are involved in the reward and pleasure centres of the brain. Eating sugary and carb-rich foods can trigger the release of dopamine, creating a pleasurable experience and reinforcing the craving.</p> <p>Serotonin, the feel-good hormone, suppresses <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1569733910700886">appetite</a>. Natural changes in serotonin can influence daily fluctuations in mood, energy levels and attention. It’s also associated with eating more <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5829131/">carb-rich snacks in the afternoon</a>.</p> <p><a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21985780/">Low carb diets</a> may reduce serotonin and lower mood. However, a recent systematic review suggests little association between these diets and risk for <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0165032722013933?via%3Dihub">anxiety and depression</a>.</p> <p>Compared to men, <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4189179/">women tend to crave more carb rich foods</a>. Feeling irritable, tired, depressed or experiencing carb cravings are part of premenstrual <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29218451/">symptoms</a> and could be <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK560698/">linked to</a> reduced <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9928757/">serotonin levels</a>.</p> <h2>3. Loss of fluids and drops in blood sugar and salt</h2> <p>Sometimes our bodies crave the things they’re missing, such as hydration or even salt. A low-carb diet, for example, <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK537084/">depletes</a> insulin levels, decreasing sodium and water retention.</p> <p><a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1933287419302673">Very low-carb diets</a>, like ketogenic diets, induce “ketosis”, a metabolic state where the body switches to using fat as its primary energy source, moving away from the usual dependence on carbohydrates.</p> <p>Ketosis is often associated with increased urine production, further contributing to potential fluid loss, electrolyte imbalances and salt cravings.</p> <h2>4. High levels of stress or emotional turmoil</h2> <p><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4214609/">Stress</a>, boredom and emotional turmoil can lead to cravings for comfort foods. This is because stress-related hormones can impact our appetite, satiety (feeling full) and food preferences.</p> <p>The stress hormone <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3425607/">cortisol</a>, in particular, can drive cravings for <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0306453000000354">sweet comfort foods</a>.</p> <p>A <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0306453000000354">2001 study</a> of 59 premenopausal women subjected to stress revealed that the stress led to higher calorie consumption.</p> <p><a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37295418/">A more recent study</a> found chronic stress, when paired with high-calorie diet, increases food intake and a preference for sweet foods. This shows the importance of a healthy diet during stress to prevent weight gain.</p> <h2>What can you do about cravings?</h2> <p>Here are four tips to curb cravings:</p> <p><strong>1) don’t cut out whole food groups.</strong> Aim for a well-balanced diet and make sure you include:</p> <ul> <li> <p><em>sufficient protein</em> in your meals to help you feel full and reduce the urge to snack on sugary and carb-rich foods. Older adults should aim for 20–40g protein per meal with a particular focus on <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/epdf/10.1111/jhn.12838">breakfast and lunch</a> and an overall daily protein intake of at least <a href="https://apps.who.int/iris/handle/10665/43411">0.8g</a> per kg of body weight for <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35187864/">muscle health</a></p> </li> <li> <p><em>fibre-rich foods</em>, such as vegetables and whole grains. These make you feel full and <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32142510/">stabilise your blood sugar</a> levels. Examples include broccoli, quinoa, brown rice, oats, beans, lentils and bran cereals. Substitute refined carbs high in sugar like processed snack bars, soft drink or baked goods for more complex ones like whole grain bread or wholewheat muffins, or nut and seed bars or energy bites made with chia seeds and oats</p> </li> </ul> <p><strong>2) manage your stress levels.</strong> Practise stress-reduction techniques like meditation, deep breathing, or yoga to manage emotional triggers for cravings. Practising <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30570305/">mindful eating</a>, by eating slowly and tuning into bodily sensations, can also reduce daily calorie intake and curb cravings and stress-driven eating</p> <p><strong>3) get enough sleep.</strong> Aim for <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33054337/">seven to eight</a> hours of quality sleep per night, with a minimum of seven hours. <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9031614/">Lack of sleep</a> can disrupt hormones that regulate hunger and cravings</p> <p><strong>4) control your portions.</strong> If you decide to indulge in a treat, control your portion size to avoid overindulging.</p> <p>Overcoming cravings for sugar, salt and carbs when trying to eat healthily or lose weight is undoubtedly a formidable challenge. Remember, it’s a journey, and setbacks may occur. Be patient with yourself – your success is not defined by occasional cravings but by your ability to manage and overcome them.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/212114/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/hayley-oneill-1458016">Hayley O'Neill</a>, Assistant Professor, Faculty of Health Sciences and Medicine, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/bond-university-863">Bond University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/i-want-to-eat-healthily-so-why-do-i-crave-sugar-salt-and-carbs-212114">original article</a>.</em></p>

Food & Wine

We looked at 700 plant-based foods to see how healthy they really are. Here’s what we found

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/laura-marchese-1271636">Laura Marchese</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/katherine-livingstone-324808">Katherine Livingstone</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a></em></p> <p>If you’re thinking about buying plant-based foods, a trip to the supermarket can leave you bewildered.</p> <p>There are plant-based burgers, sausages and mince. The fridges are loaded with non-dairy milk, cheese and yoghurt. Then there are the tins of beans and packets of tofu.</p> <p>But how much is actually healthy?</p> <p>Our nutritional audit of more than 700 plant-based foods for sale in Australian supermarkets has just been <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0889157524000516">published</a>. We found some products are so high in salt or saturated fat, we’d struggle to call them “healthy”.</p> <h2>We took (several) trips to the supermarket</h2> <p>In 2022, we visited two of each of four major supermarket retailers across Melbourne to collect information on the available range of plant-based alternatives to meat and dairy products.</p> <p>We took pictures of the products and their nutrition labels.</p> <p>We then analysed the nutrition information on the packaging of more than 700 of these products. This included 236 meat substitutes, 169 legumes and pulses, 50 baked beans, 157 dairy milk substitutes, 52 cheese substitutes and 40 non-dairy yoghurts.</p> <h2>Plant-based meats were surprisingly salty</h2> <p>We found a wide range of plant-based meats for sale. So, it’s not surprising we found large variations in their nutrition content.</p> <p>Sodium, found in added salt and which contributes to <a href="https://www.heartfoundation.org.au/bundles/healthy-living-and-eating/salt-and-heart-health">high blood pressure</a>, was our greatest concern.</p> <p>The sodium content varied from 1 milligram per 100 grams in products such as tofu, to 2,000mg per 100g in items such as plant-based mince products.</p> <p>This means we could eat our entire <a href="https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/salt">daily recommended sodium intake</a> in just one bowl of plant-based mince.</p> <p>An <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/09637486.2022.2137786">audit</a> of 66 plant-based meat products in Australian supermarkets conducted in 2014 found sodium ranged from 316mg in legume-based products to 640mg in tofu products, per 100g. In a <a href="https://www.mdpi.com/2072-6643/11/11/2603">2019 audit</a> of 137 products, the range was up to 1,200mg per 100g.</p> <p>In other words, the results of our audit seems to show a consistent trend of plant-based meats <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/09637486.2022.2137786">getting saltier</a>.</p> <h2>What about plant-based milks?</h2> <p>Some 70% of the plant-based milks we audited were fortified with calcium, a nutrient important for <a href="https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/calcium">bone health</a>.</p> <p>This is good news as a <a href="https://www.mdpi.com/2072-6643/12/5/1254">2019-2020 audit</a> of 115 plant-based milks from Melbourne and Sydney found only 43% of plant-based milks were fortified with calcium.</p> <p>Of the fortified milks in our audit, almost three-quarters (73%) contained the <a href="https://www.eatforhealth.gov.au/food-essentials/five-food-groups/milk-yoghurt-cheese-andor-their-alternatives-mostly-reduced-fat">recommended amount of calcium</a> – at least 100mg per 100mL.</p> <p>We also looked at the saturated fat content of plant-based milks.</p> <p>Coconut-based milks had on average up to six times higher saturated fat content than almond, oat or soy milks.</p> <p><a href="https://www.mdpi.com/2072-6643/12/5/1254">Previous audits</a> also found coconut-based milks were much higher in saturated fat than all other categories of milks.</p> <h2>A first look at cheese and yoghurt alternatives</h2> <p>Our audit is the first study to identify the range of cheese and yoghurt alternatives available in Australian supermarkets.</p> <p>Calcium was only labelled on a third of plant-based yoghurts, and only 20% of supermarket options met the recommended 100mg of calcium per 100g.</p> <p>For plant-based cheeses, most (92%) were not fortified with calcium. Their sodium content varied from 390mg to 1,400mg per 100g, and saturated fat ranged from 0g to 28g per 100g.</p> <h2>So, what should we consider when shopping?</h2> <p>As a general principle, try to choose whole plant foods, such as unprocessed legumes, beans or tofu. These foods are packed with vitamins and minerals. They’re also high in dietary fibre, which is good for your gut health and keeps you fuller for longer.</p> <p>If opting for a processed plant-based food, here are five tips for choosing a healthier option.</p> <p><strong>1. Watch the sodium</strong></p> <p>Plant-based meat alternatives can be high in sodium, so look for products that have <a href="https://www.eatforhealth.gov.au/eating-well/how-understand-food-labels/food-labels-what-look">around</a> 150-250mg sodium per 100g.</p> <p><strong>2. Pick canned beans and legumes</strong></p> <p>Canned chickpeas, lentils and beans can be healthy and low-cost <a href="https://www.heartfoundation.org.au/getmedia/71522940-decf-436a-ba44-cd890dc18036/Meat-Free-Recipe-Booklet.pdf">additions to many meals</a>. Where you can, choose canned varieties with no added salt, especially when buying baked beans.</p> <p><strong>3. Add herbs and spices to your tofu</strong></p> <p>Tofu can be a great alternative to meat. Check the label and pick the option with the highest calcium content. We found flavoured tofu was higher in salt and sugar content than minimally processed tofu. So it’s best to pick an unflavoured option and add your own flavours with spices and herbs.</p> <p><strong>4. Check the calcium</strong></p> <p>When choosing a non-dairy alternative to milk, such as those made from soy, oat, or rice, check it is fortified with calcium. A good alternative to traditional dairy will have at least 100mg of calcium per 100g.</p> <p><strong>5. Watch for saturated fat</strong></p> <p>If looking for a lower saturated fat option, almond, soy, rice and oat varieties of milk and yoghurt alternatives have much lower saturated fat content than coconut options. Pick those with less than 3g per 100g.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/222991/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/laura-marchese-1271636">Laura Marchese</a>, PhD Student at the Institute for Physical Activity and Nutrition, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/katherine-livingstone-324808">Katherine Livingstone</a>, NHMRC Emerging Leadership Fellow and Senior Research Fellow at the Institute for Physical Activity and Nutrition, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/we-looked-at-700-plant-based-foods-to-see-how-healthy-they-really-are-heres-what-we-found-222991">original article</a>.</em></p>

Food & Wine

Leap of imagination: how February 29 reminds us of our mysterious relationship with time and space

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/emily-ohara-874665">Emily O'Hara</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/auckland-university-of-technology-1137">Auckland University of Technology</a></em></p> <p>If you find it intriguing that February 28 will be followed this week by February 29, rather than March 1 as it usually is, spare a thought for those alive in 1582. Back then, Thursday October 4 was followed by Friday October 15.</p> <p>Ten whole days were snatched from the present when Pope Gregory XIII issued a papal bull to “restore” the calendar from discrepancies that had crept into the Julian calendar, introduced by Julius Caesar in 45 BCE.</p> <p>The new Gregorian calendar returned the northern hemisphere’s vernal equinox to its “proper” place, around March 21. (The equinox is when the Earth’s axis is tilted neither toward nor away from the sun, and is used to determine the date of Easter.)</p> <p>The Julian calendar had observed a leap year every four years, but this meant time had drifted out of alignment with the dates of celestial events and astronomical seasons.</p> <p>In the Gregorian calendar, leap days were added only to years that were a multiple of four – like 2024 – with an exception for years that were evenly divisible by 100, but not 400 – like 1700.</p> <p>Simply put, leap days exist because it doesn’t take a neat 365 days for Earth to orbit the Sun. It takes 365.2422 days. Tracking the movement of celestial objects through space in an orderly pattern doesn’t quite work, which is why we have February – time’s great mop.</p> <h2>Time and space</h2> <p>This is just part of the history of how February – the shortest month, and originally the last month in the Roman calendar – came to have the job of absorbing those inconsistencies in the temporal calculations of the world’s most commonly used calendar.</p> <p>There is plenty of <a href="https://theconversation.com/leap-day-fixing-the-faults-in-our-stars-54032">science</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/explainer-the-science-behind-leap-years-and-how-they-work-54788">maths</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-a-seasonal-snarl-up-in-the-mid-1500s-gave-us-our-strange-rules-for-leap-years-132659">astrophysics</a> explaining the relationship between time and the planet we live on. But I like to think leap years and days offer something even more interesting to consider: why do we have calendars anyway?</p> <p>And what have they got to do with how we understand the wonder and strangeness of our existence in the universe? Because calendars tell a story, not just about time, but also about space.</p> <p>Our reckoning of time on Earth is through our spatial relationship to the Sun, Moon and stars. Time, and its place in our lives, sits somewhere between the scientific, the celestial and the spiritual.</p> <p>It is <a href="https://shop.whitechapelgallery.org/products/time">notoriously slippery, subjective and experiential</a>. It is also marked, tracked and determined in myriad ways across different cultures, from tropical to solar to <a href="https://www.stuff.co.nz/pou-tiaki/300062097/matariki-and-the-maramataka-the-mori-lunar-calendar">lunar</a> calendars.</p> <p>It is the Sun that measures a day and gives us our first reference point for understanding time. But it is the <a href="https://librarysearch.aut.ac.nz/vufind/Record/1145999?sid=25214690">Moon</a>, as a major celestial body, that extends our perception of time. By stretching a span of one day into something longer, it offers us a chance for philosophical reflection.</p> <p>The Sun (or its effect at least) is either present or not present. The Moon, however, goes through phases of transformation. It appears and disappears, changing shape and hinting that one night is not exactly like the one before or after.</p> <p>The Moon also has a distinct rhythm that can be tracked and understood as a pattern, giving us another sense of duration. Time is just that – overlapping durations: instants, seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades, lifetimes, centuries, ages.</p> <h2>The elusive Moon</h2> <p>It is almost impossible to imagine how time might feel in the absence of all the tools and gadgets we use to track, control and corral it. But it’s also hard to know what we might do in the absence of time as a unit of productivity – a measurable, dispensable resource.</p> <p>The closest we might come is simply to imagine what life might feel like in the absence of the Moon. Each day would rise and fall, in a rhythm of its own, but without visible reference to anything else. Just endless shifts from light to dark.</p> <p>Nights would be almost completely dark without the light of the Moon. Only stars at a much further distance would puncture the inky sky. The world around us would change – trees would grow, mammals would age and die, land masses would shift and change – but all would happen in an endless cycle of sunrise to sunset.</p> <p>The light from the Sun takes <a href="https://www.skyatnightmagazine.com/space-science/how-take-light-from-sun-reach-earth">eight minutes</a> to reach Earth, so the sunlight we see is always eight minutes in the past.</p> <p>I remember sitting outside when I first learned this, and wondering what the temporal delay might be between me and other objects: a plum tree, trees at the end of the street, hills in the distance, light on the horizon when looking out over the ocean, stars in the night sky.</p> <p>Moonlight, for reference, takes about <a href="https://www.pbs.org/seeinginthedark/astronomy-topics/light-as-a-cosmic-time-machine.html">1.3 seconds</a> to get to Earth. Light always travels at the same speed, it is entirely constant. The differing duration between how long it takes for sunlight or moonlight to reach the Earth is determined by the space in between.</p> <p>Time on the other hand, is anything but constant. There are countless ways we characterise it. The mere fact we have so many calendars and ways of describing perceptual time hints at our inability to pin it down.</p> <p>Calendars give us the impression we can, and have, made time predictable and understandable. Leap years, days and seconds serve as a periodic reminder that we haven’t.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/224503/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/emily-ohara-874665"><em>Emily O'Hara</em></a><em>, Senior Lecturer, Spatial Design + Temporary Practices, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/auckland-university-of-technology-1137">Auckland University of Technology</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/leap-of-imagination-how-february-29-reminds-us-of-our-mysterious-relationship-with-time-and-space-224503">original article</a>.</em></p>

Technology

“Absolute monster”: Bridezilla slammed for unreasonable bridesmaid rules

<p dir="ltr">A woman has shared the reason she quit her best friend’s bridal party, after she was presented with a 14-page contract to be a bridesmaid. </p> <p dir="ltr">The woman was excited to celebrate her friend Laura’s wedding to the love of her life James, and shared how Laura was a very regimented bride. </p> <p dir="ltr">“We began planning everything, having multiple meetings to make sure we all are up to date on all plans,” the bridesmaid said in a Reddit thread.</p> <p dir="ltr">“She is a bit of a neat person and very organised. She made all five bridesmaids and her maid of honour a binder of our duties... We keep track of appointments, vendors — pretty standard stuff.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“But that’s not all that’s in there.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The bridesmaid then shared an extensive list of rules the bridal party had to follow for the big day in relation to their physical appearance. </p> <p dir="ltr">The list included 12 bizarre rules about how they were to look on the big day, saying everyone must wear size-eight dresses, tattoos must be covered or removed and brown eyes are banned.</p> <p dir="ltr">“No visible tattoos. Must be removed or covered with makeup. No jackets or long sleeves to cover them,” the bride began in the extensive list.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Full head of hair. No shaved sides or back. Must have a professional wig on if a haircut is not acceptable.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“Hair can not be too short. It must be able to be braided. Also if your hair is too long like to your waist, it will need to be cut. Hair must be blonde or black. I will tell you what colour is best for you.</p> <p dir="ltr">“You must fit into a size eight dress. I don’t want to see tents (too big) or rolls (too tight). Dresses have been ordered at size eight only.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“No brown eyes. That’s James’ and my eye colour so you will need to get contacts. Blue is required.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Other things banned in the bridal party are “harsh tans”, visible scars and eyeglasses.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Get contacts or go without for the day,” the bride added.</p> <p dir="ltr">The bridesmaid felt the rules were directed at her, as she was furious with her friend and decided to leave the bridal party. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Here is where I started to backpedal and want to walk away,” she said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I have very thick but fine hair. I keep the sides shaved down and the top and back long like halfway down my back which helps my migraines.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“I also have an Eeyore tattoo and a bear paw print tattoo that shows. I also just had bariatric (gastric sleeve) surgery so I’m working on losing weight. I also have glasses.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Upon looking through the contract, she was mortified to see what the bride expected of her bridesmaids.</p> <p dir="ltr">“The final kick in the pants was the contract — 14 pages front and back of everything we are required to do. Like not getting pregnant, attend meetings and events, as well as constantly communicate,” the bridesmaid said.</p> <p dir="ltr">Along with the demands, the bridesmaids were each required to gift the bride and groom a minimum of $150 and “some type of expensive alcohol”, along with a $400 fee to be a bridesmaid.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I tried to explain I can’t afford this and she told me I had to figure it out. I figured she lost a bridesmaid, me.”</p> <p dir="ltr">In a follow-up post, the bridesmaid confirmed she was no longer in the bridal party after she quit.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I am not doing the wedding. The bride is mad but I don’t care,” she said.</p> <p dir="ltr">Her post has been met with more than 640 comments, with many describing the bride as an “absolute monster”, “cruel” and a “bully” over her outrageous demands. </p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Getty Images / Reddit</em></p>

Relationships

Mothers’ dieting habits and self-talk have profound impact on daughters − 2 psychologists explain how to cultivate healthy behaviors and body image

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/janet-j-boseovski-451496">Janet J. Boseovski</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-north-carolina-greensboro-2069">University of North Carolina – Greensboro</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ashleigh-gallagher-1505989">Ashleigh Gallagher</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-north-carolina-greensboro-2069">University of North Carolina – Greensboro</a></em></p> <p>Weight loss is one of the most common health and appearance-related goals.</p> <p>Women and <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db340.htm">teen girls</a> are <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db313.htm">especially likely to pursue dieting</a> to achieve weight loss goals even though a great deal of research shows that <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-thin-people-dont-understand-about-dieting-86604">dieting doesn’t work over the long term</a>.</p> <p>We are a <a href="https://www.duck-lab.com/people">developmental psychologist</a> and a <a href="https://psy.uncg.edu/directory/ashleigh-gallagher/">social psychologist</a> who together wrote a forthcoming book, “Beyond Body Positive: A Mother’s Evidence-Based Guide for Helping Girls Build a Healthy Body Image.”</p> <p>In the book, we address topics such as the effects of maternal dieting behaviors on daughters’ health and well-being. We provide information on how to build a foundation for healthy body image beginning in girlhood.</p> <h2>Culturally defined body ideals</h2> <p>Given the strong influence of social media and other cultural influences on body ideals, it’s understandable that so many people pursue diets aimed at weight loss. <a href="https://communityhealth.mayoclinic.org/featured-stories/tiktok-diets">TikTok</a>, YouTube, Instagram and celebrity websites feature slim influencers and “how-tos” for achieving those same results in no time.</p> <p>For example, women and teens are engaging in rigid and extreme forms of exercise such as 54D, a program to <a href="https://54d.com/">achieve body transformation in 54 days</a>, or the <a href="https://health.clevelandclinic.org/75-hard-challenge-and-rules">75 Hard Challenge</a>, which is to follow five strict rules for 75 days.</p> <p>For teens, these pursuits are likely fueled by trendy body preoccupations such as the desire for “<a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/06/well/move/tiktok-legging-legs-eating-disorders.html">legging legs</a>.”</p> <p>Women and teens have also been been inundated with recent messaging around <a href="https://theconversation.com/drugs-that-melt-away-pounds-still-present-more-questions-than-answers-but-ozempic-wegovy-and-mounjaro-could-be-key-tools-in-reducing-the-obesity-epidemic-205549">quick-fix weight loss drugs</a>, which come with a lot of caveats.</p> <p>Dieting and weight loss goals are highly individual, and when people are intensely self-focused, it is <a href="https://doi.org/10.1521/jscp.2000.19.1.70">possible to lose sight of the bigger picture</a>. Although women might wonder what the harm is in trying the latest diet, science shows that dieting behavior doesn’t just affect the dieter. In particular, for women who are mothers or who have other girls in their lives, these behaviors affect girls’ emerging body image and their health and well-being.</p> <h2>The profound effect of maternal role models</h2> <p>Research shows that mothers and maternal figures <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2017.11.001">have a profound influence on their daughters’ body image</a>.</p> <p>The opportunity to influence girls’ body image comes far earlier than adolescence. In fact, research shows that these influences on body image <a href="https://www.teenvogue.com/story/how-toxic-diet-culture-is-passed-from-moms-to-daughters">begin very early in life</a> – <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/bs.acdb.2016.10.006">during the preschool years</a>.</p> <p>Mothers may feel that they are being discreet about their dieting behavior, but little girls are watching and listening, and they are far more observant of us than many might think.</p> <p>For example, one study revealed that compared with daughters of nondieting women, 5-year-old girls whose mothers dieted <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/S0002-8223(00)00339-4">were aware of the connection between dieting and thinness</a>.</p> <p>Mothers’ eating behavior does not just affect girls’ ideas about dieting, but also their daughters’ eating behavior. The amount of food that mothers eat <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.appet.2018.04.018">predicts how much their daughters will eat</a>. In addition, daughters whose mothers are dieters are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.appet.2018.04.018">more likely to become dieters themselves</a> and are also <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.eatbeh.2007.03.001">more likely to have a negative body image</a>.</p> <p>Negative body image is <a href="https://theconversation.com/mounting-research-documents-the-harmful-effects-of-social-media-use-on-mental-health-including-body-image-and-development-of-eating-disorders-206170">not a trivial matter</a>. It affects girls’ and women’s mental and physical well-being in a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1359105317710815">host of ways</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2011.06.009">can predict the emergence of eating disorders</a>.</p> <h2>Avoiding ‘fat talk’</h2> <p>What can moms do, then, to serve their daughters’ and their own health?</p> <p>They can focus on small steps. And although it is best to begin these efforts early in life – in girlhood – it is never too late to do so.</p> <p>For example, mothers can consider how they think about and talk about themselves around their daughters. Engaging in “fat talk” may inadvertently send their daughters the message that larger bodies are bad, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2020.07.004">contributing to weight bias</a> and negative self-image. Mothers’ fat talk also <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/15267431.2021.1908294">predicts later body dissatisfaction in daughters</a>.</p> <p>And negative self-talk isn’t good for mothers, either; it is associated with <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1359105318781943">lower motivation and unhealthful eating</a>. Mothers can instead practice and model self-compassion, which involves treating oneself the way <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2016.03.003">a loving friend might treat you</a>.</p> <p>In discussions about food and eating behavior, it is important to avoid moralizing certain kinds of food by labeling them as “good” or “bad,” as girls may extend these labels to their personal worth. For example, a young girl may feel that she is being “bad” if she eats dessert, if that is what she has learned from observing the women around her. In contrast, she may feel that she has to eat a salad to be “good.”</p> <p>Moms and other female role models can make sure that the dinner plate sends a healthy message to their daughters by showing instead that all foods can fit into a balanced diet when the time is right. Intuitive eating, which emphasizes paying attention to hunger and satiety and allows flexibility in eating behavior, is associated with <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s40519-020-00852-4">better physical and mental health in adolescence</a>.</p> <p>Another way that women and especially moms can buffer girls’ body image is by helping their daughters <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2021.12.009">to develop media literacy</a> and to think critically about the nature and purpose of media. For example, moms can discuss the misrepresentation and distortion of bodies, such as the use of filters to enhance physical appearance, on social media.</p> <h2>Focusing on healthful behaviors</h2> <p>One way to begin to focus on health behaviors rather than dieting behaviors is to develop respect for the body and to <a href="https://theconversation.com/body-neutrality-what-it-is-and-how-it-can-help-lead-to-more-positive-body-image-191799">consider body neutrality</a>. In other words, prize body function rather than appearance and spend less time thinking about your body’s appearance. Accept that there are times when you may not feel great about your body, and that this is OK.</p> <p>To feel and look their best, mothers can aim to stick to a <a href="https://theconversation.com/whats-the-best-diet-for-healthy-sleep-a-nutritional-epidemiologist-explains-what-food-choices-will-help-you-get-more-restful-zs-219955">healthy sleep schedule</a>, manage their stress levels, <a href="https://theconversation.com/fiber-is-your-bodys-natural-guide-to-weight-management-rather-than-cutting-carbs-out-of-your-diet-eat-them-in-their-original-fiber-packaging-instead-205159">eat a varied diet</a> that includes all of the foods that they enjoy, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-runners-high-may-result-from-molecules-called-cannabinoids-the-bodys-own-version-of-thc-and-cbd-170796">move and exercise their bodies regularly</a> as lifelong practices, rather than engaging in quick-fix trends.</p> <p>Although many of these tips sound familiar, and perhaps even simple, they become effective when we recognize their importance and begin acting on them. Mothers can work toward modeling these behaviors and tailor each of them to their daughter’s developmental level. It’s never too early to start.</p> <h2>Promoting healthy body image</h2> <p>Science shows that several personal characteristics are associated with body image concerns among women.</p> <p>For example, research shows that women who are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2020.02.001">higher in neuroticism</a> <a href="https://doi.org/10.1186/2050-2974-1-2">and perfectionism</a>, <a href="https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.983534">lower in self-compassion</a> or <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2013.08.001">lower in self-efficacy</a> are all more likely to struggle with negative body image.</p> <p>Personality is frequently defined as a person’s characteristic pattern of thoughts, feelings and behaviors. But if they wish, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/per.1945">mothers can change personality characteristics</a> that they feel aren’t serving them well.</p> <p>For example, perfectionist tendencies – such as setting unrealistic, inflexible goals – can be examined, challenged and replaced with more rational thoughts and behaviors. A woman who believes she must work out every day can practice being more flexible in her thinking. One who thinks of dessert as “cheating” can practice resisting moral judgments about food.</p> <p>Changing habitual ways of thinking, feeling and behaving certainly takes effort and time, but it is far more likely than diet trends to bring about sustainable, long-term change. And taking the first steps to modify even a few of these habits can positively affect daughters.</p> <p>In spite of all the noise from media and other cultural influences, mothers can feel empowered knowing that they have a significant influence on their daughters’ feelings about, and treatment of, their bodies.</p> <p>In this way, mothers’ modeling of healthier attitudes and behaviors is a sound investment – for both their own body image and that of the girls they love.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/221968/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/janet-j-boseovski-451496"><em>Janet J. Boseovski</em></a><em>, Professor of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-north-carolina-greensboro-2069">University of North Carolina – Greensboro</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ashleigh-gallagher-1505989">Ashleigh Gallagher</a>, Senior Lecturer, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-north-carolina-greensboro-2069">University of North Carolina – Greensboro</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/mothers-dieting-habits-and-self-talk-have-profound-impact-on-daughters-2-psychologists-explain-how-to-cultivate-healthy-behaviors-and-body-image-221968">original article</a>.</em></p>

Mind

Woman’s outrageous act to catch cheating partner

<p dir="ltr">A woman has issued a desperate plea online for someone to help her catch her cheating boyfriend in the act. </p> <p dir="ltr">The Sydney woman, named Ariana, listed a job on the site Airtasker for someone to drive her to the suburb of Five Dock to catch her boyfriend, who she suspected was having an affair. </p> <p dir="ltr">She asked the potential driver to sit with her in the car for a few hours, in exchange for $350. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I need someone to drive me and a friend to Five Dock and sit in the car with us for a few hours so I can try and catch my cheating boyfriend,” she wrote. </p> <p dir="ltr">The ad, which was posted just before Valentine’s Day, quickly went viral and received mixed reactions. </p> <p dir="ltr">“The way I would do this for free,” one person said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Wow, who would've thought of putting it on Airtasker! This is genius,” another wrote. </p> <p dir="ltr">However, some people didn't see the point of going through so much trouble and wasting $350. </p> <p dir="ltr">“This never makes sense to me - if you don't trust him, just leave. The relationship is dead regardless of if he is cheating,” a woman said.</p> <p dir="ltr">Despite garnering massive attention online, it is not known if Ariana’s stealthy operation was a success, or if she is still in a relationship with her boyfriend. </p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Getty Images / Facebook</em></p>

Relationships

“Entitled” bride unleashes after only seven people RSVP to her wedding

<p dir="ltr">A furious bride has been slammed online after unleashing on a lengthy tirade, calling out her friends and family who aren’t attending her wedding. </p> <p dir="ltr">Sara took to Facebook to share the extensive rant about her upcoming nuptials, after only seven people RSVP’d to the big day. </p> <p dir="ltr">The American bride-to-be called out those she invited to her destination wedding, saying they showed how little they “really” cared about her and her fiancé.</p> <p dir="ltr">“When we invited our friends and family to our destination wedding in Thailand, only nine people RSVP'd. Out of 150!!! OK, I get it, paying $3,000 to share my special day is too much for some of you. I'd pay for yours, but whatever,” she wrote. </p> <p dir="ltr">“But then, when we changed the wedding to be in Hawaii, so it's within everyone's reach, only seven of you RSVP'd? It costs less but less if you want to come? Is that what you think of me? You can't spare $2,000 to come and share our happiness?”</p> <p dir="ltr">Sara said that she was willing to take drastic measures to make up for the disrespect she'd been shown by her loved ones. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I'm tempted to just elope and not let any of you be part of our happiest day. This is it guys, you have three days to respond to our e-vites or we're deleting you off Facebook and good luck keeping up with our lives then.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“And don't get me started on the registry - only the cheap stuff is gone, I swear I thought I had better friends.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“[My fiancé] and I are asking you to reconsider.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Sara’s unhinged rant was quickly shared to a Facebook group dedicated to shaming people’s wedding choices, where it garnered hundreds of comments slamming the bride. </p> <p dir="ltr">“People who get married abroad have chosen not to have guests at their wedding,” one person said. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Does she not understand people have jobs and kids or just simply don't want to spend thousands on someone else's wedding?” another asked. </p> <p dir="ltr">“If I was her friend I’d save her a job and unfriend myself after reading that,” a third person admitted.</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p>

Relationships

Your unique smell can provide clues about how healthy you are

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/aoife-morrin-1478132">Aoife Morrin</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/dublin-city-university-1528">Dublin City University</a></em></p> <p>Hundreds of chemicals stream from our bodies into the air every second. These chemicals release into the air easily as they have high vapour pressures, meaning they boil and turn into gases at room temperature. They give clues about who we are, and how healthy we are.</p> <p>Since ancient Greek times, we’ve known that we smell differently when we are unwell. While we rely on blood analysis today, ancient Greek physicians used smell to diagnose maladies. If they took a whiff of your breath and described it as <em>fetor hepaticus</em> (meaning bad liver), it meant you could be headed for liver failure.</p> <p>If a person’s whiff was sweet or fruity, physicians thought this meant that sugars in the digestive system were not being broken down, and that person had probably diabetes. Science has since shown the ancient Greeks were right – liver failure and <a href="https://tisserandinstitute.org/human-volatilome/">diabetes</a> and many <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00216-023-04986-z">other diseases</a> including infectious diseases give your breath a distinctive smell.</p> <p>In 1971, <a href="https://www.nobelprize.org/prizes/peace/1962/pauling/facts/">Nobel Laureate chemist Linus Pauling</a> <a href="https://edu.rsc.org/feature/breath-analysis/2020106.article#:%7E:text=The%20'modern%20era'%20of%20breath,in%20an%20average%20breath%20sample.">counted 250 different</a> gaseous chemicals in breath. These gaseous chemicals are called volatile organic compounds or VOCs.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/RzozmYPfCmM?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> <p>Since Pauling’s discovery, other scientists have <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s40291-023-00640-7">discovered hundreds more VOCs</a> in our breath. We have learned that many of these VOCs have distinctive odours, but some have no odour that our noses can perceive.</p> <p>Scientists believe that whether a VOC <a href="https://tisserandinstitute.org/human-volatilome/">has an odour</a> that our noses can detect or not, they can reveal information about how healthy someone is.</p> <p>A Scottish man’s Parkinson’s disease onset was <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-47627179">identified by his wife</a>, retired nurse Joy Milner, after she was convinced the way he smelled had changed, years before he was diagnosed in 2005. This discovery has <a href="https://www.manchester.ac.uk/discover/news/smell-of-skin-could-lead-to-early-diagnosis-for-parkinsons/">led to research programmes</a> involving Joy Milner to identify <a href="https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/a-supersmeller-can-detect-the-scent-of-parkinsons-leading-to-an-experimental-test-for-the-illness/">the precise smell</a> of this disease.</p> <p>Dogs can <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-022-01629-8">sniff out more diseases</a> than humans because of their more <a href="https://www.understandinganimalresearch.org.uk/news/the-science-of-sniffs-disease-smelling-dogs%20-%20I%20think%20the%20previous%20nature%20link%20has%20more%20credibility%20for%20here%20also">sophisticated olfactory talents</a>. But technological techniques, like <a href="https://www.britannica.com/science/mass-spectrometry">analytical tool mass spectrometry</a>, picks up even more subtle changes in VOC profiles that are being linked to <a href="https://www.thelancet.com/journals/ebiom/article/PIIS2352-3964(20)30100-6/fulltext">gut</a>, <a href="https://www-sciencedirect-com.dcu.idm.oclc.org/science/article/pii/S0165993618305168">skin</a> and <a href="https://err.ersjournals.com/content/28/152/190011">respiratory</a> diseases as well as neurological diseases like Parkinson’s. Researchers believe that one day some diseases will be diagnosed simply by breathing into a device.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Xjo2M-XMYfs?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> <h2>Where do VOCs come from?</h2> <p>Breath is not the only source of VOCs in the body. They are also emitted from skin, urine and faeces.</p> <p>VOCs from skin are the result of millions of skin glands removing metabolic waste from the body, as well as waste generated by bacteria and other microbes that live on our skin. Sweating produces extra nutrients for these bacteria to metabolise which can result in particularly odorous VOCs. Odour from sweat only makes up a fraction of the scents from VOCs though.</p> <p><a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/nrmicro.2017.157">Our skin</a> and also our gut microbiomes are made up from a delicate balance of these microbes. Scientists think <a href="https://journals.lww.com/co-gastroenterology/abstract/2015/01000/the_gut_microbiome_in_health_and_in_disease.12.aspx">they influence our health</a>, but we don’t yet understand a lot about how this relationship works.</p> <p>Unlike the gut, the skin is relatively easy to study – you can collect skin samples from living humans without having to go deep into the body. <a href="https://www-sciencedirect-com.dcu.idm.oclc.org/science/article/pii/S1471492221002087">Scientists think</a> skin VOCs can offer insights into how the microbiome’s bacteria and the human body work together to maintain our health and protect us from disease.</p> <p>In my team’s laboratory, <a href="https://iopscience.iop.org/article/10.1088/1752-7163/abf20a">we are investigating</a> whether the skin VOC signature can reveal different attributes of the person it belongs to. These signals in skin VOC signatures are probably how dogs distinguish between people by smell.</p> <p>We are at a relatively early stage in this research area but we have shown that you can tell males from females based on how acidic the VOCs from skin are. We use mass spectrometry to see this as the average human nose is not sophisticated enough to detect these VOCs.</p> <p>We can also predict a person’s age with reasonable accuracy to within a few years from their skin VOC profile. This is not surprising considering that oxidative stress in our bodies increases as we age.</p> <p><a href="https://www.metabolismjournal.com/article/S0026-0495(00)80077-3/pdf">Oxidative stress</a> happens when your antioxidant levels are low and causes irreversible damage to our cells and organs. <a href="https://pubs.acs.org/doi/10.1021/jasms.3c00315">Our recent research</a> found by-products of this oxidative damage in skin VOC profiles.</p> <p>Not only are these VOCs responsible for personal scent – they are used by plants, insects and animals as a communication channel. Plants are in a <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-017-10975-x">constant VOC dialogue</a> with other organisms including pollinators, herbivores, other plants and their natural enemies such as harmful bacteria and insects. VOCs used for this back and forth dialogue are known as pheromones.</p> <h2>What has science shown about love pheromones?</h2> <p>In the animal kingdom, there is good evidence VOCs can act as aphrodisiacs. Mice for example have microbes which contribute to a particularly <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0960982212012687">smelly compound called trimethylamine</a>, which allows mice to verify the species of a potential mate. <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0093691X21003083">Pigs</a> and <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/4381097a">elephants</a> have sex pheromones too.</p> <p>It is possible that humans also produce VOCs for attracting the perfect mate. Scientists have yet to fully decode skin – or other VOCs that are released from our bodies. But evidence for human love pheromones so far is <a href="https://www.science.org/content/article/do-human-pheromones-actually-exist">controversial at best</a>. <a href="https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn3835-colour-vision-ended-human-pheromone-use/">One theory suggests</a> that they were lost about 23 million years ago when primates developed full colour vision and started relying on their enhanced vision to choose a mate.</p> <p>However, we believe that whether human pheromones exist or not, skin VOCs can reveal who and how we are, in terms of things like ageing, nutrition and fitness, fertility and even stress levels. This signature probably contains markers we can use to monitor our health and diagnose disease.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/215311/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/aoife-morrin-1478132"><em>Aoife Morrin</em></a><em>, Associate Professor of Analytical Chemistry, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/dublin-city-university-1528">Dublin City University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: </em><em>Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/your-unique-smell-can-provide-clues-about-how-healthy-you-are-215311">original article</a>.</em></p>

Body

"Am I being too sensitive?": Woman's dilemma after partner forgets 60th birthday

<p>A woman has shared her dilemma on how to approach her partner of 30 years, after he forgot her 60th birthday. </p> <p>"It's my 60th birthday today, and my partner of 30 years has not acknowledged it. Should I tell him?" she titled her post on Reddit. </p> <p>"It's my actual birthday today, and whilst we have planned a big party for next weekend, when I woke up this morning I expected a 'Happy Birthday!' and a smile," she continued. </p> <p>"I didn't get anything. He started my coffee but he does that almost every morning.</p> <p>"At first I thought maybe he forgot but now I am thinking that he thinks he doesn't have to say anything because we are having a big party this weekend. </p> <p>"Am I being too sensitive? Should I tell him? If so, how?" she asked in her post. </p> <p>Hundreds of Reddit users took to the comments to share their thoughts on how to approach the situation, with a few sharing crafty solutions of their own. </p> <p>"I'd make a joke of it. 'I can't believe they moved my birthday!' Or 'I saw on the TV we should ask easy questions to check for dementia- I'll ask you first, when's my birthday?'" one user playfully suggested. </p> <p>"I'm going to say the absolute minimum I'd expect for ANY birthday is my wife wishing me a Happy Birthday. Don't let it fester and ruin your day - just ask him about it" another added. </p> <p>One user saw the bright side of things and said: "He's handed you the best birthday present of all - the opportunity to use this against him for the next twenty years.</p> <p>"I'd be rubbing my hands with glee. Happy Birthday!" </p> <p>"Happy Birthday. Go out and buy a large cake. Eat it all yourself. Nobody need ever know" to which she responded: "there is a Costco not that far away. Go big or go home." </p> <p>Another Redditor came up with an elaborate plan on how she could get her partner's attention. </p> <p>"Purchase this 'Acknowledge Me' t-shirt of WWE wrestle Roman Reigns. Then write 'Birthday' on a piece of card and use some tape to stick on the t-shirt. 'Acknowledge Me Birthday.' Then just wear it around the house," they said. </p> <p>The woman was onboard with the plan, but luckily she didn't need to apply any of their crafty solutions and shared an update. </p> <p>"He just came up to my home office and gave me a big hug, admitting he had forgotten because he was so focussed on both work and next weekend's party," she wrote. </p> <p>"He apologised sheepishly, which was exactly the best outcome possible. Now I have both my birthday acknowledged as well as a fine story and/or bit of ammo to be saved for another day.</p> <p>"So there you go. I've cancelled the 'acknowledge me' t-shirt order, and shall now share my Costco cake with him instead of eating it from across the table, glaring.</p> <p>"Thank you everyone for the very fine passive aggressive suggestions which made me smile. Much appreciated!"</p> <p><em>Image: Getty</em></p> <p> </p>

Relationships

Parents busted for making their healthy child use a wheelchair to claim benefits

<p>A cruel mother and father have been jailed for over six years for forcing their healthy child to use a wheelchair in order to claim benefit payments. </p> <p>In 2012, Louise Law and her ex-husband Martin forced their then seven-year-old daughter into the wheelchair, as a ploy to gain a mobility car and disability allowance payments despite their being nothing wrong with her. </p> <p>The parents carried on with the scam for four years while they "fabricated illnesses and exaggerated symptoms" to teachers and NHS workers, all while raking in the extensive payments. </p> <p>The crown court in East Yorkshire, England, heard that the child suffered "gratuitous degradation" at being forced to use the wheelchair, as they were bullied at school and deprived of an ordinary childhood. </p> <p>In court, Louise Law admitted an offence of child cruelty, however she changed her plea on the day of a scheduled trial and was jailed for six years and nine months.</p> <p>Martin Law, now split from his wife, is now a long-term resident of a care home and was ruled unfit to enter a plea - although a jury convicted him of child cruelty, and was made subject of a guardianship order.</p> <p>Passing sentence, Judge Kate Rayfield told Mrs Law, "She missed out on so much of her childhood because of what you put her through."</p> <p>"Despite all of her tests revealing nothing wrong, you continued to subject her to appointments and investigations. You did the talking yourselves, telling the doctors lies."</p> <p>"This was a scam... You were telling her to report symptoms that she never said that she had."</p> <p>When the child reached the age of 18 in 2022, she was interviewed by police as she said the faux medical treatment from her parents began when she was six years old. </p> <p>A few initial medical appointments progressed to around 30 hospital appointments, including overnight stays.</p> <p>Prosecutor Louise Reevell told the court, "Her parents made her think that she could not walk properly. She would go to school in a wheelchair but she didn't really need it."</p> <p>Despite medical professionals proving that the child did not need the extensive medical treatment, her parents still claimed that the illnesses and symptoms of their daughter were genuine.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p>

Legal

Shocking reason why woman was dumped as her best friend’s bridesmaid

<p dir="ltr">A friendship has broken down live on radio, after a woman was dumped from being a bridesmaid after trying to attend a Taylor Swift concert the same night as her best friend’s wedding. </p> <p dir="ltr">Liv was one of thousands of Aussies who secured tickets to see Taylor Swift when her Eras Tour heads Down Under in February. Unfortunately for the young woman, the only night she could get tickets for was the same night as her best friend Jess’ wedding, where she was set to be a bridesmaid. </p> <p dir="ltr">Knowing about the concert while the wedding planning was taking place, Liv said she was nervous to tell Jess about the show, and decided to keep it secret while they were shopping for wedding outfits. </p> <p dir="ltr">Calling into the <em>Fifi, Fev & Nick</em> radio show, Liv wanted advice on how to tell her friend that she planned to attend Jess’ wedding ceremony, and then leave the reception to attend the concert. </p> <p dir="ltr">The radio hosts decided to let the two women hash it out live on air, with Liv saying to her friend at the start of the phone call, “Obviously the whole Taylor thing, we've been talking about it and you've been saying how annoying it is that people have been backing out.”</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C2cLqsqvcIw/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C2cLqsqvcIw/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Fifi, Fev & Nick (@fififevnick)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">“But I haven't told you I got tickets for the Saturday and this was done before Christmas. However, I was thinking of trying to compromise here and make it work.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Liv shared her plan to “scoot off” in the middle of the big day, to which Jess was convinced she was being “pranked”. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I feel really bad, I do but I have loved Taylor for so long, you are aware of this and you knew how hard it was to get tickets,” Liv replied. </p> <p dir="ltr">But Jess flew off the handle at her friend, slamming her for withholding the news and poking holes in her compromise. </p> <p dir="ltr">“You've known this before December and it's three weeks until my wedding and you're telling me now?” she said. </p> <p dir="ltr">“You want to miss a part of my wedding to go to a Taylor Swift concert? You know how much this has been annoying me that people have been dropping out to go to her and you've known all along that you're going to go to her concert.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Liv said she feels like a “bad friend” before breaking down in tears, although Jess wasn’t having it. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I don't even understand though you've gone and bought tickets on my wedding date. I'm not trying to be mean right now, I think I'm just angry before I'm even upset because I'm so stressed, it's three weeks out,” she said. </p> <p dir="ltr">Host Fifi Box suggested Liv skip the concert, but she was hesitant calling the show a “once in a lifetime” opportunity. </p> <p dir="ltr">The pair eventually hung up, with Jess ringing into the radio show in the weeks after to share an update. </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C29c8ERPrdT/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C29c8ERPrdT/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Fifi, Fev & Nick (@fififevnick)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">“I was caught off guard, pretty mortified that she chose to do it live on air, and also pretty angry,” Jess told the Melbourne radio show hosts. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Liv and I did speak after the show, and I told her she’s shown her true colours and if she wants to go to the concert, she can go to the concert.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“She was a really good friend, and if she saw that a Taylor Swift concert was more important (than my wedding), that’s her choice but I don’t want her to be a part of my day.”</p> <p dir="ltr">When Fifi asked exactly what happened after the first call on air, Jess admitted that “there was a bit of fighting.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“She still wanted to take the route that maybe she could come for some of the wedding and then leave,” Jess explained.</p> <p dir="ltr">“But realistically that wasn’t feasible and to choose someone to be your bridesmaid — in my eyes — is a pretty big deal.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Jess went on to say that Liv “reached out to some of the other bridesmaids and offered to help with the hen’s night, to which she “told them to block her because I don’t want her involved with it at all”.</p> <p dir="ltr">The bride-to-be admitted that it had been a “rough couple of weeks” and that some of her friends are “cult Taylor Swift fans and have taken Liv’s side.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“It definitely hasn’t been the lead up to the wedding that I wanted, I didn’t expect to lose friends over such an exciting part of my life. It’s really emotional, it’s meant to be an exciting time for me,” she explained.</p> <p dir="ltr">“It just really sucks that someone who I loved so much has done this.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Instagram / Getty Images </em><span id="docs-internal-guid-b1fd920e-7fff-fda1-0a24-05d2c9a0abb2"></span></p>

Family & Pets

Bride sparks fury over outrageous catering solution

<p dir="ltr">A bride-to-be has caused outrage online after sharing her unusual catering solution for her wedding day, after admitting she has invited more people to her big day than she can afford to feed. </p> <p dir="ltr">The American bride, who is planning her wedding for October, shared that she has invited 250 of her closest friends and family to her nuptial celebrations, while only being able to afford to cater for 150 people. </p> <p dir="ltr">Posting her predicament in a wedding page on Facebook, she wrote, “Bride here. Seems the most expensive thing is catering.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“To save a little bit of money, we are inviting 250 people, expecting about 200 (to RSVP), and telling the caterers to prepare for 150.”</p> <p dir="ltr">She said that in order to cater for the extra people, she was planning to order fast food from Raising Cane’s: a popular chain of chicken shops across the US. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I suggested maybe getting a tray of chicken to supplement the missing food,” she said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Is this a terrible idea? Would I get the caterers to serve that chicken also, or just put it to the side and let the people serve the chicken themselves?”</p> <p dir="ltr">Many were stunned by the bride’s catering idea, with one person joking, “Oh, it’s a Hunger Games-themed wedding. Literally.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Another suggested, “If you can’t afford to feed 250 people, move your wedding date to save up enough for your guestlist or invite fewer people — the most reasonable option.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“Do not bring in fast food. The caterer will not, cannot, and should not serve your fast food.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Another person added, “Sucks for the guests, but also real sh***y for the caterer who will get blamed when there’s not enough food for everyone.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“If I come as an invited guest to your wedding and there’s not a plate for me, I am taking my gift back and self-serving all the chicken I can carry.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p>

Relationships

Maintaining friendships after a dementia diagnosis can spur feelings of joy and self-worth

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/colleen-whyte-1281976">Colleen Whyte</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/brock-university-1340">Brock University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/darla-fortune-1363967">Darla Fortune</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/concordia-university-1183">Concordia University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/rebecca-genoe-1363968">Rebecca Genoe</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-regina-3498">University of Regina</a></em></p> <p>What would our lives be like if we could no longer depend on our most cherished friendships? The people who know us best, who have been there through our ups and downs, and share a history with us?</p> <p>For many people living with dementia, this is a reality. Over 500,000 Canadians <a href="https://alzheimer.ca/en/about-dementia/what-dementia/dementia-numbers-canada">are currently living with dementia</a>, and a diagnosis often leads to <a href="https://www.alzscot.org/news/friendship-and-dementia">a loss of friendships</a> and social opportunities.</p> <p>The reactions of friends greatly affect the experience of someone living with dementia. When friends distance themselves because they don’t know what to say or presume they no longer know how to interact with their friend, a person with dementia can experience <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/275353356_Friendships_for_People_Living_with_Dementia_in_Long-Term_Care">feelings of isolation and loneliness</a>.</p> <p>When people living with dementia can depend on their friends, they continue to enjoy meaningful leisure activities, experience <a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/ageing/afx186">feelings of joy and self-worth</a>, and see themselves as <a href="https://alzheimer.ca/en/take-action/become-dementia-friendly/meaningful-engagement-people-living-dementia">valued members of their social circles</a>.</p> <p><a href="https://dementiaandfriendship.ca/">Our research</a> had us interview friends together, asking them to share tips and strategies for navigating dementia. We heard moving stories of deepened bonds of friendship, genuine acceptance and the joy of simply being together.</p> <h2>Adapting to changes</h2> <p>Our research allowed us to speak with people who shared a 70-year friendship and couldn’t imagine life without each other. We learned that for some, a neighbourhood walk together was an opportunity to say a quick hello and how a weekly trip to the pub enabled some friends to connect and re-connect in a familiar space.</p> <p>People living with dementia and their friends <a href="https://doi.org/10.1017/S0714980821000301">may adapt to changes</a> brought about by the diagnosis in several ways. For example, they may prioritize their friendship by setting aside time for regular phone calls and visits. They may alter the way they think about the friendship by being accepting of the changes. They may also use practical strategies, like providing reminders for plans, and offering additional support when spending time together.</p> <p>Friends of individuals living with dementia may seek ways to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1471301220980898">continue enjoying meaningful time together</a>. Sometimes this involves identifying activities that are comfortable and familiar. It may also involve providing direction and encouragement to support the continuation of enjoyable experiences, such as visiting a favourite restaurant.</p> <p>For some, additional comfort may come from hanging out as a group because there is extra support available if needed.</p> <h2>Open and honest communication</h2> <p>Open and honest communication is key to maintaining any friendship and becomes particularly important following a diagnosis of dementia. Yet, that may be the biggest challenge.</p> <p>Below are <a href="https://dementiaandfriendship.ca/">some questions that friends might find helpful</a> to ask over a cup of coffee, on a walk or in a quiet, shared moment:</p> <ul> <li>What do you value about our friendship? Can I tell you what our friendship means to me?</li> <li>What is one thing I do that makes you laugh? Here’s something you do that makes me laugh…</li> <li>How can we make sure we maintain our friendship (i.e., talk on the phone, over the internet, go for coffee)? How often do you want to connect? How do we need to change our time together? What can stay the same?</li> <li>How can we support each other to continue enjoying the leisure activities that are meaningful to us?</li> <li>What are the best times and days to plan activities (i.e., morning, afternoon, weekday, weekend)? Are there exceptions?</li> <li>Do we need to schedule something in advance (need time to prepare, or get more rest the day before) or can we be spontaneous?</li> <li>Where do you feel safe and able to be yourself?</li> <li>When we are in public and you need me to step in for you, how will I know? What is “our” signal?</li> <li>What do I do if I notice you’re starting to make decisions that are not like you?</li> <li>Can I ask you these same questions in a few weeks?</li> </ul> <p>The need for friendship <a href="https://alzheimer.ca/en/help-support/im-living-dementia/living-well-dementia/staying-socially-connected">does not diminish with age</a> and <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/happiness-in-world/201312/the-true-meaning-friendship">friendships continue to deeply enrich our lives</a>.</p> <p>Given that a dementia diagnosis often puts individuals at an increased risk of social isolation, we must pay careful attention to understanding ways to ensure that friends remain engaged with their networks in personal and meaningful ways.</p> <p>The first step is to trust in the friendship and begin to explore how it can be sustained over time.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/187038/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/colleen-whyte-1281976"><em>Colleen Whyte</em></a><em>, Associate Professor in the Department of Recreation and Leisure Studies, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/brock-university-1340">Brock University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/darla-fortune-1363967">Darla Fortune</a>, Associate Professor, Applied Human Sciences, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/concordia-university-1183">Concordia University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/rebecca-genoe-1363968">Rebecca Genoe</a>, Professor, Kinesiology and Health Studies, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-regina-3498">University of Regina</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/maintaining-friendships-after-a-dementia-diagnosis-can-spur-feelings-of-joy-and-self-worth-187038">original article</a>.</em></p>

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Maintaining friendships after a dementia diagnosis can spur feelings of joy and self-worth

News

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Catalogues

Travel

Health

Lifestyle

Finance

Entertainment

Property

Information

Keep up to date

Search

William and Kate share previously unseen wedding photo

Would you be happy as a long-term single? The answer may depend on your attachment style

Love is in the air! Pilot proposes to flight attendant girlfriend before take off

Keeping intimacy alive after menopause

“Love is so sweet": Man's sweet mid-air proposal goes viral

Is attachment theory actually important for romantic relationships?

Debate erupts over groom's unconventional footwear choice

I want to eat healthily. So why do I crave sugar, salt and carbs?

We looked at 700 plant-based foods to see how healthy they really are. Here’s what we found

Leap of imagination: how February 29 reminds us of our mysterious relationship with time and space

“Absolute monster”: Bridezilla slammed for unreasonable bridesmaid rules

Mothers’ dieting habits and self-talk have profound impact on daughters − 2 psychologists explain how to cultivate healthy behaviors and body image

Woman’s outrageous act to catch cheating partner

“Entitled” bride unleashes after only seven people RSVP to her wedding

Your unique smell can provide clues about how healthy you are

"Am I being too sensitive?": Woman's dilemma after partner forgets 60th birthday

Parents busted for making their healthy child use a wheelchair to claim benefits

Shocking reason why woman was dumped as her best friend’s bridesmaid

Bride sparks fury over outrageous catering solution

Maintaining friendships after a dementia diagnosis can spur feelings of joy and self-worth

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